Hi from Ken and Nancy to all our dear friends.
Each day, I (Nancy) hear wives revealing the secret damage taking place in their families, my heart hurts not only for the parents but also for the children—the future of Christianity.
So I asked Ken to help me write out my thinking. So this Newsletter is from Ken and myself.
It’s not unusual that too many wives have had serious concerns about the man they married even before the wedding ceremony. But they unwisely believed that things were going to change for the better once the wedding took place. However, I’d be a rich person if I had a dollar for every woman who’s said, “When we said our vows before God and became husband and wife… I think my husband had a brain transplant right then and there.”
What happened? Women don’t understand that when a man meets the women he believes is “The Woman” for him, he automatically, unintentionally, instinctively, “kicks into Marketing Mode.”
What is Marketing Mode and how does it work? The nature of a man and his character are established before birth and is based on his *Motivational Gift which is placed in him by God at conception. Therefore, the person he is—is the person he is! However, when meeting “the” woman he instinctively, automatically, “kicks into Marketing Mode.” His inherent goal is to impress her in order to sell himself by representing himself as relational to her. (Every man does this.)
But remember, the person he is—is still the person he is. He has not changed. Instead, he is the victim of his natural-to-man, instinctive, selfish, response to this woman. Once he has made the sale he will automatically “kick out of Marketing Mode.” May I add, a man being attracted to a woman is not wrong; even his wanting to impress her is not necessarily wrong? The best impression in God’s economy though is that she is impressed with his Christ-like obedience to God.
Incidentally, did you know that women get married before men do? Women get married when they decide; this is the man for me. Men don’t get married until they sign the marriage certificate. And, he senses that she is “sold.” Then he will instinctively kick out of Marketing Mode. Surely you can understand that the moment she says, “I do,” the sale has been consummated? No brain transplant has taken place! He simply reverts back into the man he never stopped being.
And whether you know it or not—if you are the bride—you are no longer a person: You are now his possession. And what’s worse, a man’s un-Christ-like leadership will not bring glory to his marriage, the reputation of Christ and thereby Christianity, or God!
Now back to the children. Consider: how many children are praying that God would bring stability into their family by restoring the relationship between their father and mother and they end up deciding that God doesn’t care. So they lose their confidence in God because the husband (their father) will not humble himself and yield to God’s command that he become a living illustration of the Christ to his wife! (See Ephesians 5:25-29)